I am hemorrhaging followers these days and I don’t blame you. I think this may have been the longest bout of tumblr radio silence I’ve yet maintained. This is for various and sundry reasons, so…cold brew date?
- I don’t post about workouts even though I have, with the exception of vacations, maintained a 6 workout/week schedule. If I want to keep blogging I need to figure out what sort of material to post during longer periods of non-training, because while I know backing off from racing for awhile was an excellent thing for me to do mentally and physically, it basically killed my blog.
- I have been majorly struggling with eating/food this summer, more than I have since I initially lost the weight. Much of this is due, I know, to not processing my feels about moving and eating for comfort instead. It’s been my M.O. my whole life. All of this is exacerbated by the move itself approaching, when wonderful friends and colleagues want to gather together for one last hurrah with glorious food and drink. Not to mention the beautiful trips I’ve taken this summer, where not splurging just seems sacrilegious (spoiler alert: I did indulge). And all I want to do is enjoy these moments, but right now they’re causing me a lot of anxiety and self-loathing. I desperately kick back against these moments but usually don’t win (subtitle: This is How I Know I Will Struggle with Food and Body Issues All My Life). Anyway, I’ve not wanted to post because I’ve felt like a Fraud Fitblr, and so I just slunk into the shadows. I’m legit nervous that I won’t fit into the dress I ordered for Liz’s wedding, and things will only get worse before they get better—it’s only a matter of time before we have to pack up the kitchen and rely on restaurant food before/after the move. Sigh. I’ve also been avoiding doing this exercise Allie tagged me in for these reasons, but maybe it’ll help me feel better?
- Moving is no longer an abstract entity in our lives. I hate, hate, hate living in a state of transition. Our apartment is no longer a home, but a box filled with lots of other boxes. Not to mention I’m starting to have major sads about leaving my friends behind. I didn’t really make friends when I was teaching at this school before. I worry that I won’t again.
- I obviously did not get my dissertation proposal written, but I had a great meeting with my advisor the other day, who is happy with my progress and excited about this project. I have one more deadline to meet before I move (the task handed down by her, the due date handed down by me), and then I will compartmentalize the dissertation for awhile. It is necessary for me to maintain any sort of sanity over the next several weeks.
W to the omp, y’all. Perhaps some happy things now?
- The last time I got my hair cut I told my hairdresser I was really bored with my hair and was contemplating chopping it all off again. I’d just impulsively pinned a bunch of piecey bobs and WANTED IT RIGHT NOW WITH NO FORETHOUGHT. The thing is, I always love the chop for about two weeks…and then miss my long hair again. So she reasoned with me and we talked about maybe just doing something different, like wearing my hair almost exclusively curly. So she cut a few more curl-friendly layers into it and gave me some great tips (sleeping in big buns + No More Tangles detangler ftw, y’all) and my hair’s been into it.
- Remember how upset I was about the birds’ nest outside my apartment? After being tipped off by an anon that it was actually illegal for the apartment complex to remove it (Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918!), I emailed them and posted a sign on our door. The best news is that the swallows came back to the same place (they’re apparently super attracted to old nest locations, especially if there are remnants left over), AND NOW THERE ARE BABIES. Four that I’ve seen, maybe more. And I’m just really glad I spoke up because their nest might have been torn down again if I hadn’t.
- I got drinks last night with an old student of mine and it was really fun and soul-warming.
- I got a gig for next spring music directing for the theater department’s production of Threepenny Opera and I am 100% ridonkulously excited to take on a project like this.
That’s all the news that’s fit to tumbl at the moment. Maybe more updates about the move, or maybe I’ll become crushingly anxious about Tumblr again, idk. At any rate, I hope all of you are doing well—I am so hopelessly behind on my dash there is no chance of catching up.
Obviously I’ll need to be more specific.
I have this TERRRRRRIBLE habit of absentmindedly resting things on the roof of the car while I’m tossing my bag, books, etc. into the back. Usually I remember they’re there and pick them up before I leave, but there have been a number of casualties. Usually travel coffee mugs (RIP). Yesterday, it was my phone.
I’d been listening to a voicemail and writing myself a reminder because I’ve been trying like fuck to sell our bikes on Craigslist (ugh, that almost deserves a post in and of itself). And usually I’m super good about putting my phone back in my bag, but by the time I finished writing the reminder, I was beginning my load the car ritual. Alas.
When I got to the gym I realized it wasn’t in my bag, I had a sinking suspicion as to what I’d done. I zipped back to the parking garage, saw it nowhere around, and asked the attendant. No dice. Amazingly our school’s wifi extends to that area, so I got my ass into the cloud and attempted the “Find my iphone” alarm. Again, nothing doing. I located it using the GPS, but when you’re on a school campus apparently there’s only so specific it can get. I thought it was telling me it was in the garage. I had Michael call it incessantly.
And then he messaged to say someone had found it and was waiting nearby. A good samaritan on a bicycle had found it just lying in the fucking middle of the road (…) and, oh yeah, it had been run over several times. I have to give it to Apple—despite the screen being shattered all to shit, the phone still worked perfectly. If I were okay with occasionally lodging shards of glass into my fingers, it wouldn’t have been a dealbreaker.
At this point I was so fucking mad at myself. Mad for being a spacey dipshit. Mad for having to run around in the heat with my laptop open like an idiot. Mad at having missed my trekking class. Mad for having incurred another expense during this summer which is so fucking expensive.
I came home and sulked. Didn’t get any work on my dissertation done. Almost just watched tv all afternoon, but I decided to be mildly productive and played piano for a few hours. And then later, on Michael’s encouragement, I sucked it up, designed my own trekking workout, and checked off at least one of my to-dos for the day.
The front-facing camera obvs was affected. OOOOOH SPECTERRRRR.
And that is the story of how I unexpectedly became the owner of an iphone 5c.
Am back from an epic voyage, by car, to Long Island for wedding shenanigans with Liz. A whirlwind of friends, meeting loved ones’ family members, meeting a loved one’s BEBE, time in my favorite city, and so. much. food. SO MUCH.
Left yesterday at 9am. Rolled into Bloomington just after 1am. brb, dying, then hopefully catching up on work and a coherent return to social media.
Anonymous said: Not only is it mean to remove active nests--it's ILLEGAL to do so under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act. Once the nest has eggs, it's hands off [or is supposed to be].
Anon, thank you for this bit of information. I’m going to email my apartment complex now. There’s nothing that can be done to right the wrong done to my little birdies, but hopefully this will prevent future wrongs.