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Running. Snark. Grad School. Musicology. Wine. Cats.

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Jul
20th
Sun
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Six miles without agenda, some walked, most run. Six miles back on our storied B-line Trail. Six final miles that we’ll run together, at least for the foreseeable future. And tonight we’ll further celebrate with glorious food, drink, and other great friends. 

Six miles with one of the people dearest to me on this goddamn planet.

Six miles without agenda, some walked, most run. Six miles back on our storied B-line Trail. Six final miles that we’ll run together, at least for the foreseeable future. And tonight we’ll further celebrate with glorious food, drink, and other great friends.

Six miles with one of the people dearest to me on this goddamn planet.

Jul
18th
Fri
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Allie tagged me, and I do what she says. 6 pictures in which you feel beautiful.

1. After biting the head off my participant rose in front of throngs of horrified women at the Indy Womens Half Marathon. Being a badass athlete and feminist makes me feel powerful and beautiful.

2. A moment of 100% unadulterated happiness after visiting Anne in NYC last fall. 

3. Pittsburgh, a beautiful Americano, and a beautiful me.

4. Unexpected picture taken in Ostiglia, Italy after we were booted from the library because of more aftershocks.

5. Again with the happiness. Taken by my sister at the Schweizerhaus in the Prater in Vienna. I love the lighting, the colors, my hair, my smile.

6. This one never had a chance of not making the list. I am KILLING IT in this photo—the dress, the bling, the hair, the makeup. Classy and sassy as fuck.

And since I was so tumblr absent for so long, I don’t know everyone who’s done this, so if you have, don’t kill me! runningwithguts, lizcorre, thisfearlesslife.

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Ohai

image

I am hemorrhaging followers these days and I don’t blame you. I think this may have been the longest bout of tumblr radio silence I’ve yet maintained. This is for various and sundry reasons, so…cold brew date?

  • I don’t post about workouts even though I have, with the exception of vacations, maintained a 6 workout/week schedule. If I want to keep blogging I need to figure out what sort of material to post during longer periods of non-training, because while I know backing off from racing for awhile was an excellent thing for me to do mentally and physically, it basically killed my blog.
  • I have been majorly struggling with eating/food this summer, more than I have since I initially lost the weight. Much of this is due, I know, to not processing my feels about moving and eating for comfort instead. It’s been my M.O. my whole life. All of this is exacerbated by the move itself approaching, when wonderful friends and colleagues want to gather together for one last hurrah with glorious food and drink. Not to mention the beautiful trips I’ve taken this summer, where not splurging just seems sacrilegious (spoiler alert: I did indulge). And all I want to do is enjoy these moments, but right now they’re causing me a lot of anxiety and self-loathing. I desperately kick back against these moments but usually don’t win (subtitle: This is How I Know I Will Struggle with Food and Body Issues All My Life). Anyway, I’ve not wanted to post because I’ve felt like a Fraud Fitblr, and so I just slunk into the shadows. I’m legit nervous that I won’t fit into the dress I ordered for Liz’s wedding, and things will only get worse before they get better—it’s only a matter of time before we have to pack up the kitchen and rely on restaurant food before/after the move. Sigh. I’ve also been avoiding doing this exercise Allie tagged me in for these reasons, but maybe it’ll help me feel better?
  • Moving is no longer an abstract entity in our lives. I hate, hate, hate living in a state of transition. Our apartment is no longer a home, but a box filled with lots of other boxes. Not to mention I’m starting to have major sads about leaving my friends behind. I didn’t really make friends when I was teaching at this school before. I worry that I won’t again.
  • I obviously did not get my dissertation proposal written, but I had a great meeting with my advisor the other day, who is happy with my progress and excited about this project. I have one more deadline to meet before I move (the task handed down by her, the due date handed down by me), and then I will compartmentalize the dissertation for awhile. It is necessary for me to maintain any sort of sanity over the next several weeks.

W to the omp, y’all. Perhaps some happy things now?

  • The last time I got my hair cut I told my hairdresser I was really bored with my hair and was contemplating chopping it all off again. I’d just impulsively pinned a bunch of piecey bobs and WANTED IT RIGHT NOW WITH NO FORETHOUGHT. The thing is, I always love the chop for about two weeks…and then miss my long hair again. So she reasoned with me and we talked about maybe just doing something different, like wearing my hair almost exclusively curly. So she cut a few more curl-friendly layers into it and gave me some great tips (sleeping in big buns + No More Tangles detangler ftw, y’all) and my hair’s been into it. 
  • Remember how upset I was about the birds’ nest outside my apartment? After being tipped off by an anon that it was actually illegal for the apartment complex to remove it (Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918!), I emailed them and posted a sign on our door. The best news is that the swallows came back to the same place (they’re apparently super attracted to old nest locations, especially if there are remnants left over), AND NOW THERE ARE BABIES. Four that I’ve seen, maybe more. And I’m just really glad I spoke up because their nest might have been torn down again if I hadn’t.
  • I got drinks last night with an old student of mine and it was really fun and soul-warming.
  • I got a gig for next spring music directing for the theater department’s production of Threepenny Opera and I am 100% ridonkulously excited to take on a project like this.

That’s all the news that’s fit to tumbl at the moment. Maybe more updates about the move, or maybe I’ll become crushingly anxious about Tumblr again, idk. At any rate, I hope all of you are doing well—I am so hopelessly behind on my dash there is no chance of catching up.

Jul
8th
Tue
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THIS GAME IS FUCKING UNREAL

SCHLAAAAAAAAAAAAAND.

Jul
4th
Fri
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Hey remember that time I was a moron?

Obviously I’ll need to be more specific.

Exhibit A:

I have this TERRRRRRIBLE habit of absentmindedly resting things on the roof of the car while I’m tossing my bag, books, etc. into the back. Usually I remember they’re there and pick them up before I leave, but there have been a number of casualties. Usually travel coffee mugs (RIP). Yesterday, it was my phone.

I’d been listening to a voicemail and writing myself a reminder because I’ve been trying like fuck to sell our bikes on Craigslist (ugh, that almost deserves a post in and of itself). And usually I’m super good about putting my phone back in my bag, but by the time I finished writing the reminder, I was beginning my load the car ritual. Alas.

When I got to the gym I realized it wasn’t in my bag, I had a sinking suspicion as to what I’d done. I zipped back to the parking garage, saw it nowhere around, and asked the attendant. No dice. Amazingly our school’s wifi extends to that area, so I got my ass into the cloud and attempted the “Find my iphone” alarm. Again, nothing doing. I located it using the GPS, but when you’re on a school campus apparently there’s only so specific it can get. I thought it was telling me it was in the garage. I had Michael call it incessantly.

And then he messaged to say someone had found it and was waiting nearby. A good samaritan on a bicycle had found it just lying in the fucking middle of the road (…) and, oh yeah, it had been run over several times. I have to give it to Apple—despite the screen being shattered all to shit, the phone still worked perfectly. If I were okay with occasionally lodging shards of glass into my fingers, it wouldn’t have been a dealbreaker.

At this point I was so fucking mad at myself. Mad for being a spacey dipshit. Mad for having to run around in the heat with my laptop open like an idiot. Mad at having missed my trekking class. Mad for having incurred another expense during this summer which is so fucking expensive.

I came home and sulked. Didn’t get any work on my dissertation done. Almost just watched tv all afternoon, but I decided to be mildly productive and played piano for a few hours. And then later, on Michael’s encouragement, I sucked it up, designed my own trekking workout, and checked off at least one of my to-dos for the day.

The front-facing camera obvs was affected. OOOOOH SPECTERRRRR.

And that is the story of how I unexpectedly became the owner of an iphone 5c.

Jun
30th
Mon
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davidsgoals:

coketalk:

"An Illustrated Guide to American Personhood" by Sarah Baker

We live in a country that places the utmost value in the fetus, but the not the woman that carries the fetus nor the child the fetus becomes. 
One party believes in a small government. So small that it deals with the activities in the bedroom and is small enough that it resides in a vagina, but ignores corporate fiscal abuse or manipulation of the legal system.  

All I can do is feast on my feminist rage and Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s badfuckingassedness. Because I just. fucking. can’t. with this country any more.

davidsgoals:

coketalk:

"An Illustrated Guide to American Personhood" by Sarah Baker

We live in a country that places the utmost value in the fetus, but the not the woman that carries the fetus nor the child the fetus becomes. 

One party believes in a small government. So small that it deals with the activities in the bedroom and is small enough that it resides in a vagina, but ignores corporate fiscal abuse or manipulation of the legal system.  

All I can do is feast on my feminist rage and Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s badfuckingassedness. Because I just. fucking. can’t. with this country any more.

(via mar-kicksass)

Jun
29th
Sun
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I’ve been in a gross, grumpy, dick of a mood for the past few days, so here’s a post-trekking selfie to reflect it. How about some bullets?
I just wish we were in our new home already. I’m not ready to be away from Bloomington and all its people, but packing/moving makes me hella anxious and I’m just ready to be done.
On that note, we boxed up a shit ton of movies, books, and video games we didn’t want and schlepped them over to Half-Price Books to sell. Good thing it’s an outlet store and they don’t actually buy items. Sigh. To Goodwill they went.
I’ve been eating like dick for the past couple of weeks and, shocker, I’m about ten pounds up from my comfortable weight. I know some of it’s water weight but some of it’s for real-real and I’m not happy. I spent the whole day yesterday in a foul mood because I could feel how tightly my jeans fit. I try so hard not to tie my self worth to my body/weight, but goddammit sometimes in the moment it’s fucking impossible not to. Anyway, I’m not making any of the Sweeping Commitments that are so popular, but I’m going to be more mindful, and that’s enough.
I’m super anxious about my dissertation proposal after my advisor told me she wants me to meet (what I think is a) super undoable major deadline. I know that ultimately it’s fine when/if I don’t meet it, but now that the gauntlet has been thrown down I hate that I likely won’t rise to the challenge. Sigh.
Boo.

I’ve been in a gross, grumpy, dick of a mood for the past few days, so here’s a post-trekking selfie to reflect it. How about some bullets?

  • I just wish we were in our new home already. I’m not ready to be away from Bloomington and all its people, but packing/moving makes me hella anxious and I’m just ready to be done.
  • On that note, we boxed up a shit ton of movies, books, and video games we didn’t want and schlepped them over to Half-Price Books to sell. Good thing it’s an outlet store and they don’t actually buy items. Sigh. To Goodwill they went.
  • I’ve been eating like dick for the past couple of weeks and, shocker, I’m about ten pounds up from my comfortable weight. I know some of it’s water weight but some of it’s for real-real and I’m not happy. I spent the whole day yesterday in a foul mood because I could feel how tightly my jeans fit. I try so hard not to tie my self worth to my body/weight, but goddammit sometimes in the moment it’s fucking impossible not to. Anyway, I’m not making any of the Sweeping Commitments that are so popular, but I’m going to be more mindful, and that’s enough.
  • I’m super anxious about my dissertation proposal after my advisor told me she wants me to meet (what I think is a) super undoable major deadline. I know that ultimately it’s fine when/if I don’t meet it, but now that the gauntlet has been thrown down I hate that I likely won’t rise to the challenge. Sigh.
  • Boo.
Jun
26th
Thu
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THE TAT POST.

So I got a message the other day and realized that I never actually posted pictures of my tattoo. So HERE IT IS. Ain’t she a beaut? (ignore the stretch marks, plz).

Two pictures so you can see placement and then more detail (though it proved impossible to take a picture of it up close myself that wasn’t a little slanted).

I’m not going to give you the whole spiel about why this particular design because it’s hella nerdy and hella personal. But I will say that it’s an excerpt from a piano piece by Schumann (from a part that isn’t actually played, hence the “Innere Stimme”), and it’s representative of the moment I fell in love with his music, sparking a lifetime of research, learning, music-making, and expressing that love to my students.

I am SO IN LOVE with both the tattoo and the placement and now I’ve thought up a million other tats I want to get. But for now, I’ll continue swooning over the one I’ve got.

Jun
24th
Tue
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How do tumblr

Am back from an epic voyage, by car, to Long Island for wedding shenanigans with Liz. A whirlwind of friends, meeting loved ones’ family members, meeting a loved one’s BEBE, time in my favorite city, and so. much. food. SO MUCH.

Left yesterday at 9am. Rolled into Bloomington just after 1am. brb, dying, then hopefully catching up on work and a coherent return to social media.

Jun
16th
Mon
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Anonymous said: Not only is it mean to remove active nests--it's ILLEGAL to do so under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act. Once the nest has eggs, it's hands off [or is supposed to be].

Anon, thank you for this bit of information. I’m going to email my apartment complex now. There’s nothing that can be done to right the wrong done to my little birdies, but hopefully this will prevent future wrongs.